Abundance Challenge Diary by Ann

[Annbros]

Video 19 - 'Gifts are ok' if small is what came up for me today, but big gifts (and especially big money gifts) bring up a feeling of unease in me as I feel 'indebted' and being in debt was completely frowned upon by my parents: except for their mortgage they always saved up for everything before they bought it and never had credit cards. Also the question 'How could I be so amazing that someone would want to give me a big gift? That would be so big-headed of me' is floating around in my head.

Video 20 - My parents would never have believed there was an abundance of wealth; what came up for me this time is that, if I earned an abundance of money that would mean I was really successful and might be in the limelight (ugh, I like my privacy) but also it would come with increased pressure and expectations to deliver all the time. That feels scary.

Video 21 - I had to smile at the being lucky aspect of this as, since I started this challenge, I have won a prize! It was just a fun Easter egg hunt on the website of an organic beauty site and on Thursday I received a bottle of organic face wash as a winner of the competition. Talk about synchronicity!

Video 22 - For the first time I have no limiting beliefs around this: a great breakthrough for me is that if I had - oops I mean of course, When I have, an abundance of money I will purchase all my food that is grown organically, buy a hybrid car, use more environmentally friendly products in the home and personally; will buy better quality clothes so don't throw so much away and yes I can invest in projects that help the environment.

I also tapped the new Gold membership abundance video - I am going to do it with a different sum of money as my ego was constantly whispering ' one million is fine for Erika, but for you, no way, especially with all the stuff going on with the houses'. Pesky thing! I'll tap it again later.

I did the Gifts/jinxes video this afternoon- an 'aha': I had one boyfriend who regularly bought me gifts and that had never been the case with past boyfriends, but I realised he was buying me things to make me look like his ex-wife! Another boyfriend bought me a bike for losing weight, so yes those gifts certainly had an element of control and that explains my suspicion about gifts from men. Two of my best ever gifts were birthday presents from a friend and her husband who flew me (twice) to America to visit them. They did this with generosity and absolutely no strings attached, which was just wonderful.

[Erika Awakening]

Congrats on winning the contest! You're just getting started

For those who don't know, the Gifts video that Ann is talking about is part of our Gold video membership. You can get access to 47 ultra-powerful videos instantly (as well as to the members part of this forum) - by joining us at http://tapsmarter.com/memberships (very affordable and very powerful). A great way to get started with my coaching method, Holistic Belief Reprogramming.

[Annbros]

Video 23 - Oh I love to de-clutter and there is a big one coming up with my mum's house as 90% of it can be thrown away as it is mainly old furniture from the 50's, 60's and 70's. I spent two hours yesterday going through her papers to find a document and found all the cards from when my dad died, saying such nice things about him and then I pulled and Angel card and got Heart Chakra, so he was obviously looking down on me as I was doing that. I'll be doing more today, but we are probably going to take what we need and get a company in to clear the house. BUT hold on, I realise that, for the past few years, I have spent a lot of time living at my mum's in a cluttered house that makes me feel physically sick and my brain doesn't think straight here (I find it really difficult to work and have no inspiration) so I haven't been paying as much attention to my finances as I would normally. The new house will be free from clutter, which is going to be great!

Video 24 - Having recently worked in care I know how people scrimp and save and was horrified when I heard them saying how they got a bargain lot of chicken in a shop that made me think it must be from animals kept in appalling conditions and probably wasn't good quality. In this sector people were forever bargain hunting, which was exhausting to listen to. I need to keep upgrading my thoughts on this area.

Video 25 - 'Robbing Peter to pay Paul' was an expression constantly coming up in my childhood which demonstrated the belief that there is a finite amount of money so, if you have lots, someone else goes without. No wonder a big part of me feels I shouldn't be having more than my 'fair share'.

Video - 26 Although I avoid the news when at home, at my mum's it is more difficult when she is watching TV. At the moment the top government people (all men!) have independent fortunes, so are felt to be 'out of touch' with the average person. However lots of millionaires started with nothing or at least not much and so why can't it be me or anyone else if we are following our life purpose?

This evening I did the Gold Membership video on gifts and jinxes again: I remembered my Christmas present (aged five) was a doll's house made by my Aunt and cousin and then everyone bought me all the stuff to go in it - fabulous- and for my seventh birthday I got a musical box (I found it yesterday at my mum's and it still works!). Yet recently I specified what I wanted for particular presents and got something different instead! I'm actually really good at buying gifts for others, as I do use my intuition. Last night I went out to dinner with two school friends and their husbands and told them what was happening: they were so lovely and excited for me and really positive and abundant about it and yet today I was talking about my manifestation to another friend who clearly did not believe it was anything more than just a random series of events and I simply 'got lucky'. I of course know different!

[Annbros]

Video 27 - I realised that I tend to want to dictate where the money comes from and that probably restricts me from receiving it as there are many more ways for it to come to me than I am currently imagining. Good to keep working on the guilt - especially with my catholic upbringing: I think I have got over most of the guilt that was indoctrinated into me, but you never know where it may still be lurking! Oh and I am not the greatest at delegating so I will work on that.

Video 28 - I am not an obvious control freak (compared to some people I know!) but I do find it quite a challenge to hand it all over to God - which of course is ego getting in the way and me wanting to see the solution for myself, which is restrictive. Yesterday something did 'click' around trusting God and allowing my miracles to be delivered in any shape or form. A memory came up during this: aged 11 I took the exam to get a scholarship to a private catholic school. I was sure this was the school I was going to and had no doubts and I got in. Years later my mum said she kept trying to warn me that I may not get in if I didn't pass the exam and she was concerned that I just wasn't listening and she didn't want me to be disappointed if I failed. I have no recollection of her saying this to me: I must have been so focussed and in alignment with God that her words didn't exist!

Video 29 - I realised sabotage can be quite subtle: I am often told that I am a really positive person (some people say I am too positive!) yet I know tiny little negative thoughts still creep in and I am going to become more aware of these so I can get rid of them. Also at the moment I am not allowing money to flow from me as easily as is needed because of my current financial situation, but I know that won't help so I will enjoy spending and happily pay my hairdresser tomorrow (she does a great cut so I never begrudge that money or the tip).

Video 30 - keeping that feeling of expectation is something I am going to be doing. I want a Marriott bed having had the best sleep ever when in Salt Lake City so I am asking God for the money for that (or for it to just show up for me).

I felt drawn to go to my Gold membership videos and do the Intuition one - a while back I allowed my intuition to be overriden by a pushy sales person which cost me a lot of money and didn't get me what I wanted from what I bought (and created my credit card debt) so I wanted a reminder to stick to it no matter what and this is the perfect video for it.

[Dianne Dougherty]

Love how detailed and all the beliefs you are uncovering and sharing.......AWESOME! Congrats on your house and all the excess baggage and beliefs you are releasing on your way to even more magnificence and miracles!!!

[Annbros]

Thank you Dianne and thank you to everyone who has taken the time to view my postings - I'm really enjoying writing this diary and looking forward to what comes up in the next 15 days!

[Erika Awakening]

Yes, Ann, thank you for giving us so much detail about all the issues you are uncovering. Pretty easy to see why money has not been flowing to you, huh? Each of these beliefs is like a little dam in the river, and altogether they build a mighty dam that blocks the flow, but you are dismantling the dam brick by brick now.

For those who are not yet familiar with Holistic Belief Reprogramming, the method is explained here: http://tapsmarter.com/about-hbr

The most powerful products for opening the floodgates of abundance in your life are these:

The Original 30-Day Abundance Challenge (which Ann is writing about in this thread) - http://tapsmarter.com/tap-for-50000

Magnify Your Business Magnetism Virtual Video Bootcamp: http://tapsmarter.com/magnify-business-magnetism

The 30-Day Personal Power Challenge: http://tapsmarter.com/power

Tap for $1 Million 30-Day Challenge: http://tapsmarter.com/million

The 30-Day Powerful Intuition Challenge: http://tapsmarter.com/intuition

[Annbros]

Video 1 - What is coming up today is that if I get the 50k then that would make me special (bad for a catholic) and that I would receive unwelcome attention (and even more so if it was millions). The mention of failure made me realise I have read a lot about the need to fail to learn how to become successful, so it's ok to fail at this (good grief how ridiculous - when I first tried clay pigeon shooting I got the highest score out of about 8 people and that felt good, so failure didn't feature at all in that).

Video 2 - Another 'aha' in two ways: my brothers' companies are both doing really well, so that goes against the economic trend and yet, the 'logical' part of my brain says that statistically, if they are doing well in this economy I can't because it all has to 'even out'. Of course that again links in to the catholic belief that if one person has more another has to suffer - yet don't recall reading anything in the bible to back it up.

Video 3 - Compared to most people I have a pretty abundant mindset, but today this video came up with some new memories: we didn't have much money so we only had chocolate and crisps at weekends and when I say chocolate I mean two squares from a chocolate bar which these days I would eat myself in a day or two. Any additional squares would have us squabbling over who should have them. There's that old belief that you enjoy something more when you only have it as a treat.

Video 4 - allowing myself to be open to the possibilities and not needing to 'know' where the money is coming from is an important lesson: when I manifested some money in cash a few weeks ago I had no idea three different sources would produce it for me (especially the final one of finding the money under a table!); it was as if the Universe/God was showing me that it can show up out of nowhere!

[Annbros]

Video 5 - What came up today for me on this was the mention of first class travel: my mum would say 'What do you need that for?' and there is no way she would see the value in it. I usually resist buying cheap stuff and yesterday I went to buy some cleaning pads for washing up: I would usually buy the store's own brand but it had sold out. The branded equivalent was 30% more for 1/3 fewer pads, but I bought them anyway (to demonstrate my abundance attitude ) and when I was using them I realised they are of course much higher quality, so if that's on a low priced item and I noticed it, I will appreciate it even more on something of higher value.

Video 6 - When I got to the bit about raising my prices this time I felt really sick and then did quite a lot of yawning during the rest of the video, which is good. I am going to come back to this one later on today.

Video 7 - Ah yes, I sabotage myself with potential clients: I tend to give them reasons why they don't want to work with me and that's when they are showing an interest. That seems to be around not overpromising as so many people seem to do with their services. I hate the whole selling process (which came out in Video 6) and pushy people - last night I picked up the phone to my mum's and it was a scam call, which really annoyed me. I hate being treated like that and I don't want people to think I am not being genuine when it comes to my coaching.

Video 8 - I feel that asking for more when I suddenly have been having great results with the houses is being 'greedy' - so that is more catholic stuff coming out and that is one of the blocks. Another good round of tapping. I'm coming back to this later today and will let it sit and see what comes to me.

I went back to video 6 this evening - in the meantime some stuff came to me as I was driving: 'how am I going to cope with looking after my mum full time and earning money?' I can't get any support from social services unless I give up work completely! I don't want to do that. I felt quite panicky at the thought that I could end up in a worse position in my dream home: EGO!!!! So video 6 and boy it must have been a good choice as ego interfered and it got stuck at 18 mins so I had to reload it in order to continue and it was so slow that it ended up taking me 45 mins in total!

[Annbros]

Video 9 - I feel ashamed that my income has plummeted so much in the last couple of years and that I allowed it to happen and I ended up using all my savings to survive. In my last 'job' I even got injured which of course was one way of my soul attempting to get me to wake up and find my true purpose: I've been a bit slow at picking up on all the hints Worse is that 50k would not be enough - how ungrateful is that? (says ego)

Video 10 - Lots of wealth means lots of admin - from what I know from friends who have an abundance on money and part of me doesn't want the hassle! BUT it is a hassle in terms of admin when there is a lack of money so this is not logical and completed ego-driven. Yikes!

Video 11 - I was reminded of the days when I bought what I wanted and didn't look at the price! I am so mad at myself for feeling I cannot do that now. Lots of people around me look for bargains and the shops are offering discounts more than ever, so it is a challenge to avoid getting pulled into this. Tomorrow, when I go shopping I will just buy what I want!

Video 12 - My dad would not ask for help - even if it meant driving around in circles for hours when he lost his way. No wonder I struggle with this.