Abundance Challenge report

[evissimo]

Note: I am writing mostly for myself. I decided to do it here for two main reasons. To give you my case as an example. And to motivate myself to stay on track. Knowing that you would know I failed helps me to continue. Your comments are welcomed and appreciated. Thank you for reading my story.

My AC history

I was thinking of buying the AC for a few years. Yes, this is kind of embarassing, but it is true. I remember the previous price 197 and when it went to 297. I was always saying to myself „It is probably great but I cannot afford it”, „I don't have this money” and other stuff like this. So I worked on my money issue and my business with tools I had. In late 2012 and early 2013 my business started to be a bit more pofitable so in 2013 I started to invest more money in my personal developement. It has always been an important for me since I was a teenager and I invested a lot of time and energy but always just as much money as it felt safe. In 2013 I invested more then safe amount. When in October I saw the discount and the AC available for 197 I felt it is a sign and I just have to buy it. Especially, that I had the money on my account, so I could afford it which is rarely the case.

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AC – Take 1

I started to work on it in early Nov and kept it going for more then 10 days, maybe 13 or 14. I took it to an end, meaning I have tapped every single video form 1 to 30. But then just stopped. Froze. I felt tension. I chickened out. I know that was THE moment that could have change everything. I falt like all this is happening to fast. Like I was on a rollercoaster and tried to slow it down a bit with my body tension. Instead of enjoying the ride I wanted to slow it down. My body really ached like I was doing some hard training. I felt hyped but tired and out of control. Fear fear fear.

Now, leaving that for a moment, some strange things happend. During this 10 or more days I felt good and I felt a strong urge (almost compulsion) to spend money. For example I bought luxurious lingerie for myself for an equivalent of over 200$!!! Even though, logically thinking I couldn't afford. I mean I had the money but it would be probably wiser to keep it for more important expenses.

Another unexpected thing was that I finally signed for a driving licence course. It is a big issue for me as I was postponing it for 13 years(!!). I had already learned how to drive when I was 17 but because of some wird circumstances I didn't get to the exam. What's more, for the first time the price of the course didn't seem high for me. And I had the money.
Did I mentioned that my parents want to give me a car asa I have my driving licence (which I hope will be in January). The worth of the car is about 50 000... not $ but PLN (it would be about 16 000$ though).
For most of the time I was probably tapping for 50 000 PLN, as my brain is just used to this currency.

The most unexpected issue is that I signed for postgraduate studies. If you asked me a week earlier if that is possible I would lol. It was always what my parents wanted, never what I wanted for myself. But suddenly I found this field of study. Job-coaching: career and educational counseling, career coaching. It was Wednesday. On Thursday I enrolled. On Friday I paid for 3 semesters. On Saturday and Sunday I attended the first classes. It was the last moment to join the group. The money was given by my parents and they were more than glad to pay for it. It was around 3000$.

Now let me explain. For my whole life one of my biggest issue was Life Purpose. I was struggling to find anything that really excites me. I was starving for motivation and had a few close to depression periods. Raised in med doctor and engineer family, well-behaved, best student in the school, could aim for whatever she wants... I didn't want anything. I didn't know where my passion is. I chose my studies just because I had to chose something. It was obvious I have to get good education. I chose simultaneous studies in Mathematics and Economics on University. Hate it. After graduating in Economics and finishing a horrible Internship in one of the largest professional services multinational firm, being offered a secure job with relatively high salary, I felt misserable. I escaped from that. For the next several years I wandered between some marketing, personal development workshops organising, planning to open a utopia business and my new hobby – organic cosmetics preparation. In 2011 from this hobby my company emerged. I conduct workshops on natural body care, I teach how to make you own body and Earth friendly cosmetics. At first, I was really happy, had my ups and downs, too much for this AC thread. But today I lack satisfaction. I feel I have more to give than teaching how to make a lip balm. I no longer have this belief in external things meaning. It is important to care for your body and Earth, of course, but there is less passion for that inside me. And money never has been a strong point of this natural cosmetics business...

Why am I telling all that? Because undertaking this new studies is something more than it may seem. I realised that for my whole life I have been lying to myself. My passion always has been looking for Life Purpose. I just couldn't see it as a career. I realised that I want to help others find their life mission, theis passion and source of motivation. I was always focused on me. Hoping that one day I will understand this puzzle and I will know what I am meant to do. I attended a lot of workshops, seminars, meditations, courses all around finding your true self, your voice, your mission, unlocking your potential, public speaking, entrepreneurship, marketing. Hmm... I think I finally got it.

[evissimo]

AC – Take 2

So here I am. Starting all over again. With a huge resistance and fear bigger than at the first time. Why? Because even though all above looks promissing my current situation is not that good. I am completely broke. In fact, I am already slightly on credit. And that haven't happend for years. Not only that. I also lost the nearest chances to make money. 3 workshops that were scheduled for December are cancelled for different reasons. So I have plenty of free time but no money at all and Christmas is coming. And I feel anxious. But let's stop complaining and allowing ego to look for sympathy. I see two possible explanations which are not exclusive. Either I put myself (remember compulsive spending?) in this situation to face an old fear again or this is a message that my business is not the right path. Let's see what emerges.

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Day 1

Huge resistance. I tend to do whatever not to do the tapping. I managed to tap video 1 and the 19 because I wanted to focus on my fear. I also tapped a bit on "This is all happenig to fast"/"I have to slow down" thing with this tension in my body that stopped me the previous time. Simultaneously I have this discussion on fb about tapping for homeless people. I see the connection here.

[Erika Awakening]

Hi Evissimo,

Thanks for posting about your experience with the 30-Day Abundance Challenge, http://tapsmarter.com/how-to-attract-money

It is not unusual for people to wait a long time before buying it, nor is it unusual for people to have a lot of resistance arise AFTER they buy it. Because the 30-Day Abundance Challenge changes everything if it's used with commitment, and the last thing our ego wants is any real CHANGE.

Your developments with the car, your parents helping you out financially, and the greater feeling of abundance to buy what you wanted, plus the life purpose intuitions, all sound very, very promising ...

So yes, just stick with it. And realize sometimes when the Universe "cancels" a bunch of events it's because we are meant to be doing something else. Perhaps you are meant to be doing your tapping instead because something better is on its way

Love,
Erika

[evissimo]

Erika, thank you for reading! I am still on track

Day 2

I tapped both versions of video 2. Immediately after tapping I felt like I was sick. I got a headache, felt weak and kind of anxiety arised. I planned to join my friend's birthday party but stayed at home. Later that evening I felt ok.

Day 3

I heard from 2 people that are close to me that they are unhappy with their jobs. Even though they earn a lot, have benefits and "secure" job. They both are stressed out and their bodies are giving them symptoms of tension and uneasiness especially in the digestive system.
By the coincidence, I tapped with one of my friends video 3 and one video that she chose intuitively from range 1-30 - number 7.
In the late evening I felt blunt.

Note: I noticed that this time I am much more cautious with the challenge. I don't feel drawn to tap as much. It is of course the fear I mentioned before but I also feel that I want to be more gentle with myself. I want to process the fear but not to push so much that I run scared once again.

[evissimo]

Day 4

For the most part of the day I felt sick. I slept for 4 hours in the evening. I had a headache and felt great tension in my shoulders and neck. Like something heavy was sitting on my head and neck. I just tapped video 4 late in the night.

Day 5

Today I finally managed to synchronise tapping with adding posts. I tapped video 5, 6 and 23. De-cluttering is one of my favourite topics. I have a habit of doing it once in a while. This year I am going through a major de-cluttering that started in June when I had my basement renovated and I cleaned it up to the bottom. It was like mental shower for me. De-cluttering continued in the summer and fall when I made some changes in my apartment and got rid of a lot of stuff. I am still passionate about it so it will probably turn into more cleaning.

[evissimo]

Day 6

I tapped video 8 and after that I tapped my own sequence on resistance to paying taxes. Then I had a phone call and a little co-operation offer was given to me. It doesn't look big but it feels good and pleasurable. Then I moved to vidoe 9, which touches me so good that I am planning to tap more on it, maybe tomorrow.

[evissimo]

Day 7

I tapped video 9 and then my own sequence on taking responsibility for my own life. I realised then in my early 20 I was really scared to take responsibilty to make my own money. At the same time I wanted to show that I was an adult and I was not ready to stop being a child. I forced myself to be more independent that I had to that time.

I also tapped video 10 and 23.

Notes: For the last two weeks I noticed that in the second part of the day I feel like I was overeating. Like there was something heavy in my stomach that I cannot digest no matter what I eat. Even now I feel that.

For the last few days, I am noticing ideas that I have on how to make money. I hadn't had them before I started the challenge. In fact, I found myself in the late Nov with no visible possibilities for making money in December. No I have ideas but I am resistant to them. Damn. I don't feel like working at all even though I need money. It feels strange. I consider the ideas time and energy consuming and I feel blocked. Like I dont't want to work anymore. Simple tasks seem hard and tiresome.

I am planning to just tap more on this. I feel like I am in very strange space now. Needing the money, having ideas how to get them but just don't feeling like doing it. Sigh.

[Erika Awakening]

Thank you for sharing, yep the resistance comes up ... and it's okay to be gentle with ourselves as long as we are honest about coming back to it ... If you feel resistance to the ideas that come, tap that ... maybe there are even better ideas waiting to be born ... tap on the idea that you have to work to make money ... frankly the world could do with a lot more people doing a lot less and resting a lot more ... in fact that's such a good idea that maybe I'll go make a video about it

[evissimo]

Erika, thank you for commenting! I am definitely going to tap on the resistance!

Day 8

Done video 11 and 12. Then tapped on the resistance to work at all. I feel a subtle shift in this area but I am still going to tap on that tomorrow. I also tapped video 13, which I am going to tap again tomorrow. Today I feel so blunt and unwilling to do anything... I proedict that there are some surpresed feelings I don't have connection with because I am so numb and passionless. I probably should tap some more on that today but I am no sure if I find another peaceful moment alone. More thoughts tomorrow.

[evissimo]

Day 9

It was really hard for me today to find any time for tapping but I managed to tap video 14. It felt really great. I felt a bit tired and worn out before the tapping and after just 9 minutes video I felt invigorated and more alert. Like fresh energy was flowing through me
Edit: Woohoo after doing the video situation changed and I was able to do 2 more videos: 15 and 16.