Abundance Challenge Diary by Ann

[Annbros]

Erika,
That is so timely: I was sitting thinking about when I bought my current house 21 years ago! I walked in and knew it was the one for me and I offered the maximum I could afford to get it at the time.

And yes, I got the same feeling when I walked into the house I was viewing on Tuesday. I can just see, hear and feel myself in it so I am totally holding that in my head and not 'grasping' at it in desperation, just going with the feeling; it is easy for my brother to say those things as he hasn't seen it. It is my other brother who is coming to view it with me on Saturday and he hasn't got those limiting beliefs so is more likely to take action to help get it if he thinks it ticks all the boxes for our mum too.

Thanks so much for sharing your story and I'm keeping that in mind too!

[Annbros]

Day 5 and I started by tapping 17 and 18 before going out.

17 and setting your sights higher. I loved this. £50k isn't really that much money. OK it would just about pay off my mortgage but there would be nothing left over, so this explains why I've not been welcoming in small amounts of money as much as I could. Money needs gratitude and recognition to keep flowing I am sure and it all adds up. A big amount of money would be amazing in terms of what I could do and who I could help.

18 and losing the miracle - it brought to mind the article about lottery winners that I read a few years ago. They basically stick to their money type: if they are spenders they end up losing it all in a few years and back where they started, while the saver types carry on living as if they never won in the first place. There is an acknowledgement that it could be lost (or people could try and take it from me) but I think it is more about saving the money which would stop the flow and could lead to me losing it as the universe likes to see money circulating.

Just did 19 and 20. Oh! I will have to revisit 19 as I cannot remember anything about it, so that must be significant.

20 - the not enough belief is a fascinating one. Again I am reminded of something I read years ago that, if all the wealth of the world was distributed equally then we would all be millionaires. Wow. I am brought back to my friend who has more money than me but never seems to think it's enough. If she saw my finances she would probably have a breakdown! The funny thing is she is miserable and anxious and I am happy and mostly relaxed. She lives in fear and I live in faith... so much nicer!

[Annbros]

This morning I tapped videos 21-24.

Video 21 brought up some stuff: my Dad was always lucky in terms of the fact he would win stuff, but never BIG stuff, so maybe that was a limiting belief on his part? The lottery came in just a few months after he died and I have always joked that I wish he'd chosen his numbers so we could use them. Maybe that affects my belief about luck in terms of money? I do believe I am lucky in many aspects: my family, friends, health, fitness, positive outlook, education.

22 was powerful: I have certainly been brought up to believe that there is a limit on everything, so for one person to have more, someone has to have less. Of course love is in limitless supply so that blows that one apart, which is good. If I have more money then I can help more people and that would feel good. A real win-win.

23 is so appropriate: I have done a lot of de-cluttering and the stuff I donated to charity has so far raised £100. I know that we can get rid of 90% of the stuff at my mum's house and have already started throwing stuff out when I have been there. Looking forward to giving more stuff to charity as we move out of our houses.

24 Oh yes the whole 'unfair' thing has featured a lot in my upbringing and the belief that you have to put up with what you have got as that is 'just how it is'. Hardly a powerful attitude.

I pulled the 'Shower of Abundance' card again today, though no lottery win LoL. My eldest brother and I have just viewed the house I want to buy with my mum and he loved it too, so I am going to make an offer on Monday. We are in such a strong position as cash buyers and I know the current owners are keen to move which means we can do it all very quickly. Also, having sold my mum's house immediately I then had a friend of mine saying she and her partner are interested in it, so we have an immediate back up in case anything happens with the current buyers. Life is GOOD

[denise]

So great for you to be posting your blow by blow details of the videos, Ann! AND, it's very cool to see all of this playing out before our eyes
Thanks for sharing!!
Denise

[Annbros]

Video 25 was powerful. My Dad worked 5.5 days a week in a manual job and really didn't have much of a life. He also didn't really know what to do with himself when he retired - so he went and got another job. At first he worked full time and then part time up until when he died. The whole idea of working when I want or not at all is great - especially now I will be looking after my mum and will want more time to do that and not burn out trying to do everything else and make the money I need.

26 - Aha, responsibility is a big one for me. Yes how can I charge 5 or 6 figures for my coaching? Even though I have spent tens of thousands of pounds on my own training, I still wonder if I know 'enough' so can give clients that value. Yet, I have always had great feedback, even when I was training, so it all comes down to 'why do I deserve this/people like us' That latter statement is filled with so much energy from my parents it almost knocks me over!

27 - It's amazing how things keep sneaking back into my mind: the calculations for the house sales and purchase keep going round in my head and the challenge is to keep the abundance mentality going. My gratitude journal is really important to me at this stage to keep me focused on everything I have.

28 - Never thought I was angry with God until this video. It took me back to when I was in marketing; twice I was seconded in to other companies and, on both occasions, the contract was cut short. That meant I lost out on a total of £50k (!)because there was no other work for me to do, as it had been allocated to the other associates on the assumption that I was fully booked on these projects. It led to me having to use up my savings and not be able to pay off my mortgage as I would have done... so that all seems to be related to what is happening at the moment with the houses. Yes, around that time I think I did distance myself from God as I was angry at what was happening. Time to trust that God knows more than I do and to ask for more help.

This afternoon I did the Clearing Fear video again and then read Erika's posting about five types of thinking. Two things are coming up for me: firstly that an underlying thought of 'I'm not good enough' is running in the background. No matter how well I did on my school report, my Dad's only comment was 'You could do better'. Boy that was demoralising, so no wonder I feel I will never know enough. Secondly Erika's comment on her blog about systems and making sales calls. That hit me full on: I hate being sold to and so I hate selling. I know all the techniques sales people have been taught and yet, I still get persuaded to buy something I don't want because I allow someone to talk me into it. That is all related to 'figures of authority' who my parents would never question. I'm going to sit with that for a while.

[Erika Awakening]

These are great insights, Ann, and very deep work. Thanks again for being so detailed in your experience of each video, it's very helpful. You are identifying multiple core issues that often take people years to discover, if they ever discover them at all.

And yes, wow, I could write a whole article about sales calls, and maybe I will. Suffice it to say, I don't make any sales calls and have no desire to do so. So I'm very glad that I don't have a limiting belief that it's necessary for the success of my business, because it's NOT.

For those who haven't yet seen it, the Five Types of Thinking article is here: http://spiritualseduction.com/quantum-leap

[Annbros]

Thanks Erika - I'm just recording what is happening for me so it was great to get that feedback and I LOVE that you don't make sales calls; it has always impressed me.

Video 29 I loved the Oracle cards and it was all very relevant to me so that was good.

Video 30 - Gratitude really is so important and I am so glad I am making a habit of it. It's easy to take things for granted so I am noticing everything.

Video 1 - I tapped that twice in a row this morning as it got quite a strong reaction from me again around the being worthy and 'it's impossible' thoughts that popped into my head. It is amazing how this stuff keeps sneaking its way back in.

Video 2 Aha the economy: I do avoid the news, although sometimes I catch the end of it or see a headline online and of course people keep talking about the doom and gloom and now in the UK we're apparently in a 'double dip' recession. The economy is such a great excuse for the Ego to latch onto and when it is part of a whole country - well that is powerful and it feels as if there are just a few of us swimming against the tide. But, funnily enough, the Sunday Times Rich list was published yesterday and the top earners have all increased their fortunes; so they didn't take any notice of the economy

House update: I put the offer in and there are two other offers on the table. The agent rang this evening and suggested a slight increase may be the way to go. I won't get into a bidding war with the others, but we do have the leeway to make one increase and I think being cash buyers could be what is going to swing it for us. I will do some tapping on that this evening, as I still think it is my house!

Also, since Friday I keep having a robin visit me: he greeted me when I got out of my car and, every day since, has sat on my fence and looked in at me! As robins symbolise growth I think it is very relevant to the move.

[elaineenlightening]

Ann, Thanks for sharing your journey. I have enjoyed reading through and am inspired by your story. Love it!! Expect Miracles!! Elaine

[Annbros]

Videos 3 and 4. I couldn't remember a lot of what Erika said and yet I know I tapped the first time around so this is definitely my Ego attempting to stop me and keep me 'safe'.

What came up for me was when I was 8 years old and wanted riding lessons 'We can't afford it' was the reply. A year later my Grandmother died and left a small sum of money to one of my uncles who loved horses, and he decided to give it to me for my riding fund. My mother said I had to match the amount before I could have the lessons to show my commitment. Back in the 1970's £32 was a lot of money (I think my Dad earned that in a week!) so I sold all my toys and asked only to receive money for birthday and Christmas presents. Two years later I had my riding lessons and I eventually gave up my pocket money to pay once the money ran out. Scrimping and saving 'every penny' therefore was a really big thing in my childhood.

Videos 5 and 6 again the whole 'why me?' is still coming up and the funny thing is I know one of my brothers has manifested a big sum of money through his work and he then has been able to use that to help in the purchase of the house I want (made an increased offer this morning so waiting to hear back). So what is stopping me - oh yes, the 'raising prices' piece really had my ego saying 'in this economy you can't do that' and a friend I saw yesterday said she had almost halved her day rate on a recent contract so no wonder I am finding the pricing part a challenge as my ego looks for evidence to contradict asking for any more.

Good news: the agent has called and our offer has been accepted, so now it is all systems go to meet their deadline of completion by 13th July (should be fine and I think it will happen earlier) YIPPEEEE, I manifested the perfect house.

[Erika Awakening]

Ann, do you have any gender-based hang-ups about money? (Roles for men and women.) Your brother manifesting money and putting it toward your house is YOUR manifestation. It is possible you have more comfort with indirect rather than direct manifestations, and this may be a sign of some kind of gender role programming (or something similar). Does that resonate?