Abundance Challenge Diary by Ann

[Annbros]

Thanks Erika. Of course it was synchronicity that had me doing AC 7 and 8 about it being 'too good to be true/not happening fast enough' I sure as hell resonated with that after what I manifested on Thursday!

Also 7 and 8 of PPC very relevant with the 'victim' video: I think I have been too passive and maybe even put the responsibility in the hands of others too much. Time now to really be more powerful and stop sabotaging myself and expecting to still be the useless kid sister, which my brothers always called me as a child.

I am looking forward to our session and, when you suggested the 15 week programme I got both excited and had a feeling of 'oh shit how am I possibly going to manifest the money after my spectacular failure on the house last week?'

I have started doing the daily lessons from ACIM so will continue to do those.

[Erika Awakening]

Yeah, thanks for owning that The passivity and the not taking full responsibility go hand in hand. Passivity is also a big part of our cultural training, so it's not always easy to stand up and say, "hey just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean it's right for me." Like with my refund policy, there was a lot of peer pressure to offer refunds, but my intuition was very clear that they are just a way for people not to make the full commitment, and very destabilizing to my business to be at the mercy of other people's failure to commit. So in each and every situation you find yourself in, it's important to think it through at the beginning and do whatever you need to do to ensure the outcome you desire. That is taking responsibility.

[Erika Awakening]

And ... as with everyone, the money is already there, Ann. With you, it's easy to see it. There are countless ways you could arrange your house purchase to free up cash for coaching. If the program is something you really want to do, and your intuition is giving you the green light, then it's again about not being passive.

Holistic Belief Reprogramming is all about being honest with ourselves about the life we truly want to have, and then committing to have it and doing whatever it takes to have it. That's why I talk over and over and over again about commitment. Commitment is what converts it from an idle wish into a reality.

[Annbros]

Videos 9 and 10 of AC again very relevant as it is all about income and wealth ceilings and I definitely want to raise both! I know I have earned much more money in the past, so I am totally capable of doing that again.

PPC 9 and 10 very appropriate on boundaries and speaking up: I have been doing that and people are not liking it! Even with my brothers: I made a comment that I don't want to live in a bungalow, which of course would suit my mum better as it would be on one level, but I have to live in the house too and so it has to be a house I like in an area I like and I am far more aware of where I live and what suits than either of my brothers

And now a house update: one of my brothers went to see the people who own the house we want: they are going to put it back on the market once the wife has recuperated from her operation later this month. The husband apologised and said they could not agree a date with the people they were buying from that fitted in with the hospital appointment. So, all is not lost and, so far I haven't seen anything as suitable. We told my mum yesterday and she said she wanted to live with me in the interim so will arrive on Wednesday as planned.

[Annbros]

AC 11 and 12: interesting as yesterday I was working on a project which I am covering off for someone on holiday and the client requested we buy something for him and charge it back: he cannot buy directly as he works for a huge corporate and the company he is buying from is not on the approved suppliers list and we are. The thing is, although it is only $200 we won't be reimbursed for 75 days as that is their payment terms and then, my colleague let slip the same guy has beaten her down on her price for the main project by $20,000, so she can't be making any money. This is a pattern of behaviour she has repeated in the ten years I have done various projects for her and I have never understood it: she gives incredible value and yet they won't pay for it and she never says 'no', although she is brilliant at what she does.

The irony is, if she did say 'no' and they employed a rival company at the reduced rate I am sure the project would be a disaster and they would come crawling back and pay the higher rate. It is a really good reminder about boundaries and self-worth.

11 and 12 of PPC: I am continuing to speak up and it is not going down well with one of my friends: I said to him yesterday that, sometimes when I tell him something, I am doing it to impart information and I don't actually want him to give me advice on what I should or shouldn't do. His response was that he wasn't telling me what to do, but just being helpful! He also keeps asking me if I have PMS and am trying to pick a fight with him! It's not stopping me though

[Annbros]

AC 13 and 14. I do find myself attempting (as in imagining) how money is going to come to me: I think this comes from a family belief that you need to know exactly where every penny comes from (there's some old sayings 'penny wise, pound foolish' and 'look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves' that were a constant mantra growing up) but of course that means we just focus on the pennies, which is all lack thinking.

Also PPC 13 and 14: it reminded me that, earlier this year I wanted to replace my toaster and there was a good brand at half price when I was shopping so I bought it. It is the worst toaster ever: even on the lowest setting it browns things too much and only toasts the top half. I didn't keep the receipt so felt I couldn't take it back. Anyway, last week I got so fed up I finally researched toasters on the internet and got the one that came out best and bought it - it's great!

I was also at a party with one of my disabled former students: I always buy high quality food, but, as she is on benefits, she had bought cheap food. Ugh it was so disgusting! I really appreciated the benefits of eating well and only buying both healthy and high quality food.

Ooh I did the three new gold videos: the 'hate to wait' one was just brilliant Erika: we always had to wait as kids, when I wanted riding lessons I had to save up for two years to prove I was serious, before my parents would let me have them (even though an uncle had given me a lump sum to go towards riding lessons). We never had credit and my mum has never had a credit card. Very powerful stuff here for me;especially regarding my house purchase so thanks for the perfect timing on this one

[Annbros]

Videos 15 and 16 and I know the gratitude thing will be a challenge now my mum is here as she will be watching the news, which I avoid at all costs as it is all 'lack, lack, lack, economy in crisis, blah blah' so this will be an interesting test for me over the next few weeks!

PPC 15 and 16 - boy I am getting so much better at saying what I think and holding my power, even when people disagree with me. What came up for me here is that I am scared of power as, in the past, I feel I become a 'bully' with people I perceive as being weaker than me and then become compliant with people I see as stronger than me.

There is a development on the house purchase: the wife is going into hospital the week after next for an operation and, following a successful outcome, they will be happy to sell to us with the aim of us moving in the first week of September and they will put their stuff in storage and live with a relative. So it looks like it could all be back on

[Annbros]

AC 17 and 18 - I am sure in my childhood your reward was all based on how much you 'deserved it' so part of me still thinks that I need to deserve it more to have more money and maybe that is part of what is holding me back. As to the losing it: in some ways my ego tells me that paying off debts/being mortgage free is a way of losing the money as it has no material benefit (well nothing tangible in terms of 'things/goods' if I pay off a debt. The ego is operating at full steam to attempt to make me see the whole exercise of manifesting a mere 50k as pointless - yuck!

PPC 17 and 18 again are good back up videos to AC: Worthiness - as a Catholic in church we were always repeating 'Lord I am not worthy' which isn't helpful as it seems that they want you to believe no matter what you do you will never be worthy, and I wonder what kind of a god would be that mean? Not my kind of a god.

I am definitely ruffling a few feathers by speaking my mind and not everyone is liking it, but that is their choice. It has occurred to me that you really cannot persuade people who are not ready to do this kind of stuff, as goodness knows I have pointed people in the right direction, yet when I check in on how they are doing with the information, they come up with excuses which of course is just BS and I am far less tolerant of these people when they start to moan about their lives. The thing is they won't take responsibility! Thank goodness I am surrounded by like-minded and enlightened people here.

[Annbros]

AC Day 19 - tapping slowed down a bit due to my cousins staying in my tiny house along with my mum this weekend. Plus my mum, who usually needs to be woken up at 10am has started getting up at 7am when she hears me in the shower, thus interrupting my tapping time! Admit I do have a lot of fear around her falling down my stairs at the moment. She stumbled today but saved herself: all a bit hairy! Plus she has just called out to me while in bed as got confused as to where she is.

PPC 19 - ah family patterns - very appropriate! I remember Christmas day aged four, I awoke and couldn't see as I had conjunctivitis, so I made my way to my parents' bedroom for help. We were not allowed in their room and my Dad shouted at me for walking in! This video crashed about a third of the way in!

[Erika Awakening]

Intuition says:

Time for you to break out of your comfort zone, Annbros.

What is the best way, right now, for you to break out ... I mean REALLY break out ... of your comfort zone?